Demonstrates swearing for those learning English as a second language, and explains the meaning of obscene, off-color, and vulgar expressions

In the English language, swearing is essential to effective communication. In this hilarious and illuminating guide, you will learn just how to do it - no f*cking problem. Whether you want to succeed in business, school, or social circles, a strong command of vocabulary is absolutely necessary. Just imagine a stranger to our shores, trying to comprehend the following conversation: John: Mary, would you like to attend the opera this evening? Mary: F*cking-A. should I wear my black dress? John: Why the f*ck not? Mary: F*cked if I know-Oh, f*ck! I just remembered. It got f*cked up in the wash. John: Well, f*ck the opera. Let's stay home and f*ck. Mary: Good f*cking idea. English as a Second F*cking Language (ESF*L) is the perfect way for nonnative speakers to learn the basics of swearing. At the same time, it also offers native speakers a wide variety of twists and new refinements. Page after page, ESF*L provides a smorgasbord of swearing synonyms designed to boost your vocabulary-everything from the conventional d*mn and sh*t to a host of more inventive terms that would make any truck driver blush. And when you're finished reading, our Final F*cking Exam is the perfect test of your swearing skills. You'll be surprised by how much you've learned! “Great f*cking book!” —Stephen King

For Johnson, swearing is essential to effective communication. With this in mind, he has developed this hilarious guidebook on how to curse effectively in detail, with numerous examples taken from everyday life.

With this helpful guide, learn to tell people off like a native no matter where you are in the world. An essential phrasebook for the world traveler, How to Swear Around the World features dozens of favorite curses, insults, and sayings from all over the globe. Get rid of a pesky hanger-on in Brazil by telling him to dig for potatoes—vai ceifar batatas. To express disgust toward your brown-nosing German friend, accuse him of being a bicycle-rider—radfahrer, or tell someone off in Laos by letting him know you think his mother enjoys keeping intimate company with dogs—Ma see mea mung! Make new friends and enemies abroad with this handy guide filled with fighting words, scatological expressions, dozens of ways to insult someone’s mother, and many other suitably offensive phrases. Also features phonetic pronunciations and handy illustrations to provide guidance to these colorful exclamations. “As useful as it is hilarious, Sacher’s How to Swear Around the World teaches readers all kinds of vulgar phrases in dozens of different languages. Feel free to call Expedia and curse out their airfare prices using any of the book’s quotes.” —Complex.com

The truth about English is that it can get pretty boring. Dangling modifiers, gerunds, punctuation marks--it's enough to make you want to drop out of high school. Swearing and sex on the other hand, well, these time-honored pastimes warm the cockles of our hearts. Now, The Elements of F*cking Style drags English grammar out of the ivory tower and into the gutter, injecting a dull subject with a much-needed dose of color. This book addresses everything from common questions ("What the hell is a pronoun?") to philosophical conundrums ("Does not using paragraphs or periods make my thesis read like it was written by a mental patient?"). Other valuable sections include: •All I've got in this world are my sentences and my balls, and I don't break 'em for nobody •A colon is more than an organ that gets cancer •Words your bound to f*ck up One glance at your friend's blog should tell you everything you need to know about the sorry state of the English language. This book gives you the tools you need to stop looking like an idiot on message boards and in interoffice memos. Grammar has never before been so much f*cking fun.

It may be starred, beeped, and censored -- yet profanity is so appealing that we can't stop using it. In the funniest, clearest study to date, Benjamin Bergen explains why, and what that tells us about our language and brains. Nearly everyone swears-whether it's over a few too many drinks, in reaction to a stubbed toe, or in flagrante delicto. And yet, we sit idly by as words are banned from television and censored in books. We insist that people excise profanity from their vocabularies and we punish children for yelling the very same dirty words that we'll mutter in relief seconds after they fall asleep. Swearing, it seems, is an intimate part of us that we have decided to selectively deny. That's a damn shame. Swearing is useful. It can be funny, cathartic, or emotionally arousing. As linguist and cognitive scientist Benjamin K. Bergen shows us, it also opens a new window onto how our brains process language and why languages vary around the world and over time. In this groundbreaking yet ebullient romp through the linguistic muck, Bergen answers intriguing questions: How can patients left otherwise speechless after a stroke still shout Goddamn! when they get upset? When did a cock grow to be more than merely a rooster? Why is crap vulgar when poo is just childish? Do slurs make you treat people differently? Why is the first word that Samoan children say not mommy but eat shit? And why do we extend a middle finger to flip someone the bird? Smart as hell and funny as fuck, What the F is mandatory reading for anyone who wants to know how and why we swear.